


Headcanons Because I'm Tired

by thebeasknees



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Author Is Having A Bad Week, Cottagecore Zoe, F/F, Gen, Hippie Evan, I listened to the soundtrack, I refuse to believe any of them are republicans, I'm high lmao, I'm tired, Just Headcanons, Larry is a Democrat, Lowkey stoner Connor, M/M, acab:), g a y, not even Larry, now I'm sad, so here you go bitches, talk of political stances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:08:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25531114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebeasknees/pseuds/thebeasknees
Summary: If you don't agree with things I say, that's fine, but please don't bash me for it or I'll. ❤✨step on you✨❤
Relationships: Mentions of Evan/Connor, Mentions of Galaxy Girls
Comments: 8
Kudos: 11





	Headcanons Because I'm Tired

Evan

-So panromantic and pansexual

\- Deadass has a whole script in his head of every single reason why people are pretty

-sends Connor photos of pretty people at 1am

-he has trouble understanding the concept of someone being ugly

-he sees beauty in everything basically

\- Honestly?? He's cool with all pronouns and has no idea how to deal with that

-One time a woman accidently called him a 'she' on 'accident' and he was like no wait that's okay I don't mind

-Cool plantdad vibes that let's you name his plants and pet his cat

-his closet is very hippie-ish, he really likes the style

-The style overall compliments any body type and since he doesn't like his bod much 

-He's a liberal but too afraid to say it

-easily annoyed with people he doesn't agree with and becomes REALLY outspoken by accident when he gets pushed off the edge

\- 'Skirts are cool'- Evan Hansen 2020

-He's a Mom Friend

-The amount of times he's had to save his friend groups ass is ASTONISHING

-He gets the aux

-his music taste is surprisingly really fluid

-he just doesn't listen to pop that much (but he does listen to hyperpop)

-He listens to REALLY inappropriate songs 

-not cause he's horn knee just cause he likes the flow

-Green witch

-Has so many jars it needs to be illegal

-Wears flower crowns (and makes them)  
__

Connor:

-A gremlin but make him ~down to earth~

-He doesn't really get crushes like Evan does

-like he hasn't crushed on anyone since he was like 5

-Far leftist

-He likes he/him pronouns mostly, but like. Doesn't really mind they/them

\- Closet looks like stoner vibes but on crack and with more grey's

-His music taste is really chill. He likes 90's rap (mostly biggie/icecube) and RIOTGRRL music.

-Basically feminist music

-Thinks Evan looks cute.

-That's it. That's the line.

-Probably blasts songs like 'fuck the police' right next to police cars

-Looks at them like 'I dare you to chase me, whores✨'

-A chaotic witch

-Hexes people that have done him wrong for fun ❤

\- Chill big brother vibes that drives you to therapy on sundays

-An empath

\- No I won't be argued with on that

______

Jared:

-A gremlin

-Steps on nazi's necks for fun (with combat boots)

\- REALLY loud

-A biromantic asexual kiddo

\- 'Is there anything better than sex? Yes a f f e c t i o n' - Jared 2020

\- Really touchy feely once you get to know him

-Thinks kissing your friends is totally fine and rad because kissing is 'warm and nice and calming.' Kiss your homies 2020

-Emotionally detached 

-Short attention span

-REALLY SHORT. HE'S LIKE 5'7

-He doesn't really care what pronouns anyone uses on him. 

-Literally doesn't care at all-

-One time somebody told him he screamed like a girl and he just went 👁👄👁

-Far, FAR, F A R, F A. R. R. leftist

\- Wears 8 inch combat boots for fun

\- uses the cat emoji in every sentence

\---------

Zoe:

-Very confused about her sexuality

-kinda like connor. She just thinks Alana looks cute 

-Never gets crushes

-Closet looks like a lesbian grandma but make it modern

\- Cottagecore bitch

-basically just looks like hyperpop if it were a person

-Lets Evan send pictures to her of pretty people so they can both have heart attacks over them

-AMAZING at baking

-Helps Evan with his garden

-Keeps track of the stars and the moon

-Has a cat called Moonee

-Tired. All the time.

-Sad But Sweet Little Sister Vibes That Bakes A Lot

-Wakes up Connor at 3am to bring her to starbucks

-Has arguments online with random incels

-Has a need to dropkick short people

-Basically Connor but make it ~better at hiding emotions~


End file.
